Other propaganda disseminated by misguided women. Twenty-six things a perfect guy would do, and Take your X-TREME marketing and shove it.įour things that could have improved The Matrix: Proof that wealth can't buy class: the top four We know you're a cranky bitch, you don't need How is it possible that a guy with a small penisĪnd a hairy back is more powerful than Pepsi on the Internet? Safe and don't send me email (new fan mail). Things Elizabeth Smart could have done to Ikaruga: a modest review by a modest man. Going to Thailand? Don't forget your jackass McDonald's new ad campaign is an anagram for The Matrix: Revolutions is boring and shitty.īROKEN CAPSLOCK KEY (2 new pieces of hate mail). Smelling like cinnamon buns, quit bitching.īill O'Reilly is a big blubbering vagina. Looking for a safe stance on abortion? MeĬancel the 2005 Academy Awards, the contest isĪstrology is bullshit. You're not Dave Chappelle, and you're not funny. Intellectual property theft? Don't worry,ĭetective Dipshit is on the job (new hate mail). If you work for Websense, you aren't reading this. If you're too much of an impressionable idiot to watch "Sideways," then don't. The most expensive $94 Orbitz will ever make. Unintentionally sexual comic book covers. Star Wars Episode III: a steaming pile of Sith. If these words were people, I would embrace their genocide. I just wanted a video game, not eternal damnation in hell. One thing PC users can do that Mac users can't. Unfastened Coins: Titanic Conspiracy (April Fool's '07) The iPhone is a piece of shit, and so is your face.ĩ things I learned about the world from anonymous stock photo models. The Best Show in the Universe: Episode 01 - YouTube Kids.įashion tips for women from a guy who knows dick about fashion. The Best Show in the Universe: Episode 02 - Make the choice to suck less. The Best Show in the Universe: Episode 03 - Tables won't say "no." I stopped childhood obesity, cholera and arson this weekend. Worth a thousand words: a photoblog (April Fool's '11). The most overrated sandwiches in America. (April Fool's '12)Īnyone who doesn't like onions is an idiot.Įnd discrimination against straight people. You're not a nerd, geeks aren't sexy and you don't "fucking love" science.Ī comedy master teaches me how to be funny (new hate mail).ġ1 Sexy Girls with Star Wars tattoos you don't have the rights to publish.Ī second chance at life. Marketing phrases that have lost their meaning. Using suicide to guilt someone is cowardly. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer illustrates the worst of humanity. Maddox's Fan Fiction Emporium (April Fool's '13) Things that sucked about E3: The wrap-up. I liked it better when it was called Army of Darkness. I'm horrible and "disguisting" (3 new pieces of hate mail). Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I think of Osama Bin Laden being dead and it makes me happy. Make your own Osama bin Laden death cookies!įacebook Quizzes Are Stupid (April Fool's '14) Things you're doing wrong every day: everything. The ABC News saga and the screenshot that forced them to issue an apology. Here's how every company in America can save 23% on wages.ĭancing Man and the cult of well-intentioned idiots. Mad Max: The only review you need to read for the only movie you need to watch. We are in the midst of a global cataclysmic Appocalypse. Things I hate about modern gaming: stories. Self-checkout lanes are garbage and so are the people who use them. Things I'm tired of seeing in horror movies. Penn & Teller: My take on their bullshit. Maddox vs Crickets: who wins? The answer won't shock you. I've decided to keep a promise I made in the footnote of this article I wrote 12 years ago: I'm officially running for president.īuzzebelMico9POST: 2 words every straight white male needs to read (April Fool's '16) The Social Warrior's of Justice - SJW Newspaper (April Fool's '17) Lifehack: Did you know that your opinion on whatever you just watched on Netflix doesn't matter?Ĭalling people your "dude" isn't a shortcut to personality. Introducing: Maddox Card (April Fool's '19) I removed the camera from the photographer's hands who removed smartphones from our hands to show how strange and empty his photographs would be without a camera. This 82-year-old-woman got her memory back by changing her diet and 19 other variables that weren't controlled for. Bob Dylan sucks and Leonard Cohen is spooky overrated bullshit.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |